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Wednesday 20 June 2012

Just a Mom..

I'm not much of a blogger.. I LOVE reading blogs, just not a whizz with words & quite simply don't have the enthusiasm to blog (wish I did), until something catches my attention gets my goat!

After a busy morning with my kids, followed by an afternoon fighting for good behaviour whilst running errands,  It was roughly 4pm & I felt a sigh of relief as I pulled on my drive. 
The thought of sitting down for the first time today & switching my lovely pink laptop on to catch up on the goings on in the world bought a warm feeling inside.
I am a surf-a-holic!  Its my vice in life, namely Pinterest where I can get lost & convince myself that I've done a full days work "researching" beautiful projects for the home that will possibly never come to fruition, (at least not while I have the kids at home to keep me busy).

Anyhoo, my back was up the minute I read todays headlines thanks to "politically Correct" Cherie Blair.  I would say, if you ask most Brits what their opinion of the woman is .. it would NOT be good!

I just had to share my thoughts on the offending article-

Cherie Blair attacks yummy mummies who choose children over careers!

How can she tar every Mother with the same brush?!  Does this woman have any morals?
It begs the question, what was her own relationship like with her Mother?

Anyone who knows me, knows I am not the most maternal of woman.. my better half may even tell you I'm more maternal with our "other girls" (the K9 variety), but a Mothers roll is so important!
I do not banter to the kids demands, I am not a hard woman by any means but I do not want my children to grow up to be brats. 
My children are no more "dependant" than the next kid, but I do give them the security they need & shower them with love & devotion. 
I want my children to be educated & do well in the world, Its sure gonna be harder on them then it was on me growing up!

Reading Cherie's article really blew a fuse!  It reminded me of my husbands favorite quote
A few years ago before my daughter came along, I was made to feel like a failure by a very rude & over opinionated woman who told me that I was selfish for not letting my son go to anyone's home without me (Henri was almost one at the time), she proclaimed that I would be making a rod for my own back & cause Henri to be "clingy & antisocial".  Well, she couldn't be further from the truth.  Our boy is four + a half now & little miss Mai just turned three.  Do you know what, people often stop me & say what happy, chatty & sociable children they are.

Henri started pre-school last September, in our home.. its a great bribe.  We use to for good behaviour "if you don't stop being naughty, you aren't going to school tomorrow".  It works a treat, he stops the mischief (temporarily).. we LOVE school in our home.  We haven't had a bad day sending him off to pre-school, its almost like he's desperate to get away from me & at four years of age, his reading is coming along great, he has NEVER had to go in time out, his teachers LOVE his manners & say he's a pleasure to have!
My daughter is due to start pre-school this September, I already have a battle every day to drag her out of school when we drop her big brother off & collect him.  She is just chomping at the bit!

I choose to stay at home with my children.. believe me, there are days when I would love to duck tape them to the wall, they try my patience but they are my most precious treasures in all the world & more importantly, our future!  So, in response to Cherie's article in which she belittles the work of a mother, I CHOOSE my children, I choose motherhood.  They are more important to me then any career right now. 



I realise other factors come into play, not everyone can afford to stay home, I used to work shifts starting at 3am, having to be up & out for 2am in a bustling International Airport.  I'd come home to a full day with the kids but it was exhausting, My husband would fly out the door as I'd walk in, like ships passing in the night (only morning) with just enough time to give him a quick peck on the cheek before he was off. 
If either of the kids were sick in the night, Steve (my better half) would be up with them only to have to do a full day on the road the following day causing him to be tired=dangerous
We get by now on a humble wage & I contribute by selling on eBay.  I am nowhere near as tired as when I worked & we spend more quality time together as a family.

Think about this, did your Mother go out to work or was she a stay at home Mom?.. how did you feel about that?
My Mom was a full time "Homemaker" & I loved adored having her around.  I hope my kids will look back with fond memories of their Mom's choice to be at home.
Please do not think that I am against working Mothers, this blog is just to voice as a stay at home Mom that I do have ambition, I dream of running my own furniture store with bespoke pieces made with my very own hands, in my very own workshop, but that can wait, for now, I am doing the most important role for me.. raising a family.

A friend of mine posted this on facebook & I just have to use it!



I, like millions of women around the world sacrifice building a career for the good of our families.
I am proud of what I do.  My role is at times, the most challenging, emotional & tiring that I've ever had, but I sure get 100% job satisfaction which I have never achieved before, & while my family is happy.. I am too.

I am, just a Mom.

Thursday 15 March 2012

I'd like to introduce you to my girls.
My beautiful red girl is Saffi, she's a 17 month old Greyhound x Whippet x Collie x Staffie.  Full of love & faster than lightning itself!  I guess the best way to describe her is that she looks like a Greyhound on steroids!  She spends her days lounging in the sun (when its out to play) & curling up on in my lap!!
The baby of the family is our 12 week old Blue Merle Dane.  You know what, they couldn't have named the breed any better.. she really is a GREAT Dane!  My husband thinks I have an unhealthy obsession with her, personally just I think he's jealous since she was intended to be "his dog" but fights his attempts to win her affection to cuddle up with me, (which secretly makes me happy).
I have never been so in awe of puppy before.  She is growing at the rate of knots!  I feel like I can see a difference in her everyday & I love it.
How could you not love that face!
My sister in-law sent me this, I love it so much I thought I'd share it with you.


Wednesday 14 March 2012

Reflection..

Today I had an interesting experience when I went to fetch my son from pre-school.  I was running a little late so parked on the double yellows opposite the gate where I collect my boy. 
I shouldn't have left the car there & rules are rules, but it must have taken all of 12seconds to run, collect Henri & get back to the car. 
As I fastened my sons seat belt, an elderly gentleman man who had also collected his Grandson, felt the need to yell at me repeatedly calling me a "stupid girl" for parking where I had, I was so shocked at his loud outburst that I simply said "sorry" as he hurried on his way!
 
I know it was naughty to park where I did but surly, if you feel so strongly that it is your place to inform someone of their "wrong doings", there must be a more diplomatic way to go about this?! 
As I drove away from the school, I placed my shades over my eyes & fought back the tears. 
His actions left me feeling overwhelmed & slightly very hurt!  I wonder whether I myself have ever been so unnecessarily mean to a stranger & caused them down to feel so low! 
I've been doing a lot of reflecting lately on my behaviour & how I can improve. 
I am a firm believer that whatever we do in this life, will come back to haunt us when we meet our maker.  When my time's up on earth, I don't want to return to my Heavenly Father & have to answer for a long list of wrong doings. 
I like to live by a belief similar to that of Karma..
 "whatsoever fortune or misfortune experienced is all due to some previous action", Buddha.   
Whether in this life or the next, it will come back & bite me in the butt.. (& a very big butt I have)!


So I will leave you with this..

Thursday 8 March 2012

Here's a little intro to Madam Darby..
http://youtu.be/qcW8T31fnC0
This is a whole new adventure for me. To be frank, I haven't a clue where I'm heading with this but I guess we'll see as time goes by.
I'm a full time Homemaker & Mom to Master Henri 4 & Madam Darby soon to be 3. I've been married to my better half for seven years. Just last year, I finished work to spend time with my children. Time that I can't slow down, no matter how hard I try, but there are days when I take time for granted.. even wish it away! One thing I know for sure, time is precious.
I am the second youngest of seven, having five elder brothers & one younger sister. I never brought trouble into the home, but Mom always used to say, "give me five boys over you two girls any day.."
My Mom was my best friend & if she knew how much I hated that comment, I'm sure she wouldn't have said it so much. But after years of rolling my eyes every time she'd repeat it, I finally understand! I can hear her voice now, "I hope you have a daughter when you get married", well Mom, I have.. & I get it!
I wouldn't change my little princess for all the tea in China. I love my kids equally, but Mom.. you were right!
My Mom worked hard in the home raising seven kids & kept us & the house immaculate! My Dad taught us the importance of a good education & work ethics. He worked hard outside the home & studied at the same time to better himself, always putting us first.
I recall being around 7 years old & desperately wanting a pair of the Clarks secret key shoes because they looked so magical on the commercial. The day came when I needed new shoes, Mom & Dad took me to Clarks to get my feet measured & we came away with a pair of sensible navy t-bar's. I dragged my toes to school & back for the next couple of weeks. Mom noticed the scuffs on my brand new shoes & hit the roof. She took me by the hand & dragged me out to the hall where she picked up one of my Dad's shoes, as she flipped it over, there was a hole about the size of a 50p coin with a piece of card placed inside to protect his foot. How ungrateful was I, but that's my Dad. He'd give you his last £1 if it meant you didn't go without.
We were bought up with a healthy fear of God, in a house filled with love & laughter.
Its funny really, as I kid I never really appreciated my parents. I used to swear I'd never be like them when I had my own kids. But I was young & naive with a LOT to learn.
Now I have my own family, I strive to be like my parents & can only dream to be like them.
In 2002, I lost my best friend to cancer. I watched my Mother battle for seven years with that awful disease. "A Medical Phenomenon" the doctors marvelled just a couple of years into her treatments, many of which she opted for the guinea pig approach on new trials. It took them twelve months to diagnose the Ovarian cancer, by which time it had spread. "Its quality of life over quantity" Dr Poole said. "We can buy you twelve months at tops!" Well seven years was pretty good going, but with five sets of chemo, lost her hair three times & underwent three sets of Radiotherapy.. it really was a battle! All the while, she just drew closer to God.
Now ten years on & not a day goes by when I don't think of her, wonder what she'd think of my husband, see her play with my kids or just have a good old natta. Loosing her was the most painful experience of my life & has left a pretty big void. One that I am learning to live with everyday..